Sunday, July 10, 2011

So much for the newlywed experience....


- And then there was one -
Half empty or Half Full? Still pondering the curve balls life can throw you....
one sunset at a time.

I know it has been unlike me abandon my blogging for this long, especially in the height of the flower season. The fields have been bursting with bright buds and butterflies dancing in the fields everyday. Normally I would be posting pics like crazy in the peak of July, so writing this is my attempt to get back to my normal routine, my place of zen and happiness.
I am overwhelmed with how well the flowers have done this summer...really they are beautiful and stop traffic throughout the day - but the excitement of this time of year has been tainted by a cloud of personal sadness. I will spare you the details, except to say - after 4 months of marriage, I won't be sharing this experience with the person I thought was my best friend for life. I was blindsided by the discovery of my of husband's choices which eliminated any possibility of "us" continuing on this journey together. Disappointed, disgusted, devastated and heartbroken are the words that come to mind. I can't know for sure but I suspect he thought I was so dependent on him and his skills that I would just turn my head...or maybe he just didn't think he would get caught. He must have been equally as shocked when all the locks were changed and his clothes were on the front porch the next day!

One thing for sure, I certainly did not expect to be managing this farm by myself. Nevertheless I know I deserve better - so it is for the best. I hope in a few months this will be but a distant memory. While I am not at that point yet and the pain is still haunts me every moment of the day, the pity party is beginning to wind down and rays of hope are poking through the break in the clouds. Here are a few shots so you can see the glimmer for yourself:
The new "Open" signed was pushed in the ground for the first two sunny weekends of July so I could share the abundance of the fields. It has been good therapy to me to meet more neighbors, share a smile with families, and watch kids frolic among the rows of flowers.
It has been especially nice to hear feedback from fellow Pungolians who say they have always passed by and wanted to be able to stop in to smell the flowers! Alot of city folks too as most of my customers stop in after a day of picking berries (Henley's and Pungo Blueberries is now open right down the street).

I have set up a little area for customers to pick their own bouquets. A few mason jars filled with water, scissors and a jumbo handwritten sign explaining what is available. Thought I would take a picture of this quaint little setup, if only to compare it next year ;) Oh the Humble beginnings.
Feels like the ideal way to spend a relaxing day in the country to me. Butterflies and bugs fill the humid air. Purple mint flowers top bouquets...beneficial insects love them too.

Happy, sunny cosmos.

Double flowered pink frilly Cosmos.

The warm velvety orange richness of the Mexican Sunflower - Just happy :)
Purple Ruffle Basil speckled with green.
Celosia spikelets glimmering in the sun.

Strolling the farm by myself at sunset tonight with camera in hand, I felt the hope and beauty of everyday activities slowly creeping back into my life again and am finally reaching the point of being just thankful.

Thanks to all my family and friends for all the support - and if you haven't stopped in, please drop by for a visit to the farm this weekend!

3 comments:

  1. Growing flowers heals hurt souls. I've been through a very similar experience (with a 6 month old daughter to boot) and even though it might not feel like it right now, you'll get through this and be stronger in every way. Sounds like you're already on a great start! Congrats on the flower business!

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  2. Thanks for the kind words Ruth. I have hope and faith, looking forward to more joy :)

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  3. Unbelieveable, I'm so sorry to hear about this news. You know that WHENEVER you need a day or an afternoon of help, just call, email, Facebook, whatever - we'll be there! When tough times fall on my blogger family (like Ruth) I always wish we could live close and help each other out. Luckily, you do live close, and we would be more than happy to pitch in - if you need a guy for construction projects or heavy lifting hubby is very handy and used to be in construction before the Navy. Serious as can be, just holler! There's another get together tomorrow evening at Ashley's I think? It's in Pungo, if you feel like it pop over there.

    I think you did the right thing under the circumstances - girl power! (Although it probably doesn't feel that way now when you are hurting.)

    Beautiful photos, as always... sending hugs your way....

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